Obsession
by BMuffin
Summary: A new insight into Richard and Justin's relationship.Warning cursing! Will soon be changed to M for slash...
1. The appointment

THE APPOINTMENT

CHAPTER ONE

Justin Pendleton watched intently as several moving feet passed over his head. Sitting in the waiting room with a forgotten magazine spread across his lap, he appeared to be in a trance. Dr. Wellington's office was in the basement of a large ten story building in downtown San Benito. Every Tuesday after noon at 4pm like clock work Justin was here, sitting quietly reading a magazine to keep his mind busy. Or on certain days like this, staring out the window to keep his mind from thinking at all; the window trance it meant something was bothering him. The waiting room was small, only able to hold seven or eight patients; all the windows were up high to the ceiling, beginning right at ground level, connecting seamlessly to the sidewalk. The admissions nurse liked Justin's weekly visit's he was polite and quiet, keeping to himself. No trouble had ever come from the Pendleton's kid and she doubted it ever would. His parent's had divorced over three years ago, yet he still came every week to see Dr. Wellington, maybe for no other reason then to have someone to talk to.

ELSEWHERE

Richard Haywood was bored. He hated not being able to do anything. He and three other students had afternoon detention; the teacher sitting at her desk in the front was reading the paper. Two guys in the back were discreetly passing a playboy back and forth. While a girl in the front put on makeup.

He shouldn't be here, these people were losers, and wasting time with losers couldn't get much worse then this. Thinking back to what lead him here in the first place made him smile though. Ah, the look on Pendleton's face when he got back his history report, it was so worth it. The night prior Richard had stayed after class and once the bell rang and everyone had left; Richard went through the history reports in the **un-graded box** until he found Justin's. He uncapped a large red grading pen and with a smirk started to write within the margin, he then stuck the paper in their teachers **graded box** and left. It really would have been a harmless prank if someone hadn't _seen_ Richard do it, he wouldn't be here now. Or maybe no one had witnessed his act of fun after all and the teacher was lying, trying to get the truth out of him; either way Richard was here now, sitting with the low life's watching time slowly pass on the wall clock.

ELSEWHERE

"Mr. Pendleton the doctor will see you now" Smiled an older nurse with clip board in hand. Tearing his eyes away from the window of passing feet, Justin put away the magazine and walked thru the open door.

"Justin it is nice to see you again" Greeted the doctor from his chair.

Dr. Wellington was a middle aged man, with dark coffee coloured eyes and puffs of cotton candy white hair framing his balding head. Black framed glasses, watched Justin take a sit next to the fish tank in his office. Justin seated himself quickly and glanced at the fish, before replying. "As always it's good to see you too Doctor"

"How have things been going for you?" Began Wellington it was a game really he would ask several simple questions then Justin would feel comfortable and open up to him. But not today, no Justin was ready to spill the second he sat down…

"Please be quiet as Allen passes out your grades, do remember this essay is worth 15 of your grade in my class," reminded Mr. Loftis. I was just sitting there as I always do, you know quietly waiting. When I felt a pain in the back of my head, at first I didn't think anything of it; until I heard snickering in the back. He was shooting rubber bands at me.

I was going to ignore him as I always do, when his taunting began "You just think you're so smart don't you Pendleton? So then tell me why your mommy still has to dress you?" I was just turning around to tell him to shut up when Allen stopped at my desk. Paper in hand, his eyes seemed to widen, I didn't understand why until he laid my paper down. **F **_See me after class for plagiarism! _ I was speechless; the world was spinning, just as I felt a swell of injustice I heard him, laughing behind me: Practically giggling with glee.

That's how I knew Richard had something to do with this….

EARLIER

(Phone rings)

"Hello?"

"Mr. Haywood?"

"Yes, this is he."

"This is Principal Tucker from Jefferson high, there's a matter regarding your son Richard we need to discuss."

LATER

"You did WHAT!" boomed Lawrence Haywood, turning red in the face.

Richard hated when his parents gave him attention, because it was always bad attention.

"I told you dad it was a joke, no big deal. No one got hurt."

"No one got hurt! I think you are forgetting you represent this family! This is the third _joke_ you've pulled this month. You are making your mother and I look bad, and after everything we do for you!"

Richard dug his hands in his pockets, keeping his eyes low. He could feel the cigarettes' between his fingers and wanting nothing more then to smoke one right now.

"Dad I just came home from detention okay, its no big deal. I've been punished already. Why are you so mad?"

Lawrence Haywood stopped pacing to address his son.

"I'll tell you why I'm so mad, the Principal called me today, to tell me that she and the school are tired of you Richard. Tired of you and your _jokes_, and she is going to have you expelled."

"WHAT?" Richard yelled in shock, not quite believing what his father had said.

"That's right Richie; the school is tired of your games, lucky for you I struck a deal with them."

"What kind of deal?" He asked fully expecting it to be a money matter.

"The principal thinks you crave attention of something. She said if you start seeing a therapist on a regular basis, then you can stay."

Richard's mouth dropped open, just as the cigarette he had been fingering snapped in his pocket.

"You've got to be joking!"

"This is no joke son, you have embarrassed your mother and I for the last time. I made you an appointment tomorrow at 6pm to see Dr. Wellington. He is the most experienced and honored teenage psychiatrist in all of San Benito."

"What if I don't show up?"

"Oh you're going to show up, so you don't humiliate this family more by being expelled!"


	2. Haywood

**HAYWOOD**

Chapter two:

Something felt familiar to Richard…Something he couldn't quite explain. Sitting in an old winged back chair, he noticed the coffee rings on the arm rest. This was really starting to bother Richard; it wasn't so much a thought as it was a feeling of…? Relaxing in the old chair, he took notice of the large fish tank next to him. Watching the dozens of fish passing by Richard didn't know Dr. Wellington had come into the office, and had quietly seated himself across the small room.

"Mr. Haywood I presume?" Began Wellington with amusement in his voice as Richard jolted in surprise.

"Ah yeah, that would be me" Glancing nervously from wall to wall Richard suddenly felt being here was a very bad idea.

"I see you like my pets?" Asked Wellington gesturing toward the fish tank

"They're okay" he shrugged wanting to make it apparent he wasn't impressed by fish

"Mmm, so what has brought you to me this afternoon Haywood?" The large rimmed glasses just beginning to slide down his nose

"I uh got into some trouble at school and so here I am"

Wanting to keep his answers short Richard had no intention of giving himself away least of all to a shrink

"Do you want to talk about your school troubles?" inquired Wellington causally

"No, not really"

_This is such bullshit he's putting me to sleep here_ thought Richard looking back at the school of fish swimming in circles next to him

"Then what would you like to discuss?"

Something about the name Haywood was sticking out in Wellington's mind like a thumb tack he knew this was Lawrence Miles Haywood's son but somewhere else he had heard this name…

Several minutes of silence past, Richards eyes firmly set on the fish tank; Wellington watching him through half fallen glasses. Just when Wellington thought this session would be a waste young Haywood spoke.

"What's his name?"

The question started Wellington who for a moment had no idea whom the boy was speaking of, and then he realized Haywood hadn't taken his eyes from the fish tank.

"Which one do you mean?"

The boys' eyes never wavered away from the tank

"The one that's black and white. All these fish are yellow, gold, red, solid black or solid white. But this one (points to fish) he is both black and white with a tip of gold on each fin."

"Why do you want to know his name, it is just a fish?"

"No, he is different. He is more then the other fish like two parts becoming whole"

Catching himself suddenly Richard wasn't going to let himself be examined

"Different people, give those fish different names. His name is whatever you want it to be."

"Huh yeah whatever, I need a smoke. Nice visit doc but I got to go"

Pulling himself up from the chair Richard made his way for the door, taking one last look at the fish as he exited the office.

Wellington sat up in his chair, opening Haywood's new file he went to make notes on their short visit. Something about what the boy had said regarding that fish, out of all 32 fish in the tank he had related most to that one. That's was the smallest fish in the tank, hardly anyone noticed it. Well really no one except Justin Pendleton. And that's when it suddenly occurred to Wellington as he stared into Richards file; Richie Haywood was the name Justin Pendleton had given that very fish over a year ago….

LATER THAT NIGHT

Coming into the house Richard was surprised the lights were still on after eleven. He made his way up stairs when his mom stopped him on the landing mid-way up.

"You left early!" Dressed in a silk robe, with curlers in her hair Rita Haywood looked scared

"What are you talking about mom, go to bed you're drunk" pushing past her he went on toward his room

"Your father knows you left the therapist early, and he isn't happy about it"

This stopped Richard in his tracks, turning back toward her; he could feel the blood draining from his face

"How does he? Did that balding quack call him!" Slowly backing toward his room

"No your dad called the nurse, said he had something to tell you but you had already left. You know how he gets when he thinks you're wasting his money and. and disobeying him…" There was an unmistakable quiver in her voice as she looked at the floor and twisted her hands together

"Where is he?" Richard's mind was suddenly racing a marathon of options

"He went to the store to buy more wine...Hurry, leave now before he.."

But before she could finish the sentence, the car garage began opening

With widened eyes, Richard made a dash to his room, grabbing his backpack and stuffing clothes inside. He could hear his father screaming down below

"WHERE IS HE!" the walls shook

"At a friends house dear I told you already" defended his mother

"LYING BITCH!" there was a boom and his mothers scream as she was flung to the floor

Half way out the window Richard stopped, paralyzed by fear for his mother, taking a deep breath Richard climbed back into his room and listened

"YOU STUPID WHORE, WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING MISTAKE? WHERE IS YOUR SON?"

A lamp flung across the room, breaking against the wall

Richard gathered all his courage picked up his baseball bat and opened his bedroom door, went to the stairs and slowly started to make his way down.

Lawrence Miles Haywood stood over his cringing wife as she clung to the floor whimpering, his back was turned away from Richard as Richard raised up his bat…

"Why do you make me do this to you, huh? Why do you have to make me so mad?"

Lawrence slurred and wobbled, Rita Haywood opened her eyes just in time to see her 17 year old son Richard raising a baseball bat over Lawrence's head

"Don't do it honey! Please he isn't worth it, please" Rite spoke directly to Richard

"I'm not doing it you're doing it he is your son" mumbled Lawrence thinking she was talking to him

Richard's eyes dart around unsure of what to do; he hated his father and really wants to just bash him right now

"Baby please…" begs his mom

Lowering the bat, Richard nods to his mother

Just then Lawrence falls forward passing out on the floor in a drunken stupor

"Get out of here before he wakes up, you should have already left!" hisses Rita Haywood trying to keep quiet

Dropping the bat Richard runs up the stairs, grabbing his back pack and gets out of there. He has no where to go, he cant go to any of his friends houses, they wouldn't understand. So he just keeps driving, speeding under the streetlights. He drives until he gets to the top of a cliff, parking he thinks maybe this will be a nice place to see the sun rise. Getting out of his parked car he lights up a cigarette and sits on the hood. It's an early September night but the winds blowing against the rocks making him shiver. Looking out across the crashing waves, Richard Haywood feels alone, completely and totally alone. He thinks back to that strange looking fish at the therapist's office today. He feels like that fish alone, and un- seen, small and different; throwing his cigarette over the bluff he turns to go back in his car. That's when he sees's it, he isn't sure what he is looking at, at first. It's so dark up here; the only light comes from the moon which is half blocked by clouds. Letting his eyes refocus and adjust he looks again, yes about 200 yards away there is a house of some sort, its old looking and appears vacant. Zipping up his favorite red jacket he heads toward the old house that appears to be clinging to the edge of the cliff.


	3. Dares and Lies

Richard fell asleep in 1st period. This really wasn't that uncommon, but this morning he just couldn't keep his eyelids up. By third period it was beginning to become more noticeable, especially when he accidentally went to 4th period instead of 3rd. Not noticing anything Richard fell into the nearest desk and slumped over wrapping his arms around his head and resting his head upon the desk. It actually took the teacher 10 minutes to realize why everyone was laughing.

"Mr. Haywood I'm afraid your nap time in this class isn't for another 45 minutes. Mr. Pendleton please see to it that Mr. Haywood finds room 203 without any detours."

The annoyance of being chosen to escort Richard anywhere was clearly shown on Justin's face. Why him of all people?

"I know I can trust you to take Mr. Haywood to his own 3rd period class, I'm sure they're missing him." The sarcasm lightly veiled.

Rising to his feet Justin could feel the class watching him walking over to Richard's peacefully slumbering form occupying a front row desk.

Something about touching Richard, even lightly on the shoulder to wake him seemed wrong; inappropriate almost. Kicking Richard leg with his foot he got him moving in no time.

"What the hell's wrong with you Pendleton, can't you see I'm busy?" Yawned Richard, rubbing the dreams away with his hands over his face; it still hadn't occurred to Richard that he and Justin had 5th period together not 3rd.

"Well get busy somewhere else, this isn't your class' Informed Justin standing over Richard.

"Get busy huh?" A teasing smirk crossing Richards lips as he looked up at Justin.

Justin felt his face flush red and looked back at the teacher for support only to find her back at her desk reviewing a study plan.

Justin sighed, "Do you even know what time it is?"

Richard looked from Justin to the wall clock, blinked then looked back at Justin: The realization of being in the wrong class just now presenting itself to Richard.

Getting up on his feet Richard made a big show of him stretching and yawning. Grinning from ear to ear he looked around the room, catching the eye of a hot red head in the second row. "Well now that you've all seen a glimpse of me in action, I invite you all to my party Saturday night, especially you sweet thing." Clapping his hands together and nodding toward the cute red head, Richard headed for the door not waiting on Justin to follow. Several excited whispers could be heard in the room as Justin closed the door behind them. Heading toward the stairwell Justin held on to hope that Richard would go up stairs toward his room without problem. But it came as no surprise when Richard walked by the stairs completely and out the side door toward the parking lot. "Hey what are you doing?!" running toward Richard to stop him from leaving school grounds. "I'm writing an essay, what does it look like I'm doing?" Richard didn't slow down toward his car. "No, you can't go I'm responsible for you going to class"

"What are you going to do force me?" Richard stopped and looked Justin in the eye daring him to try. Staring at Richard, Justin felt stunned he hadn't expected a confrontation. "I…I just don't want to get in trouble for your rebellion." Blue eyes on blue eyes, tension building. "Then don't" Richard paused to light his cigarette, still facing Justin mere feet from the parking lot. "What I'm suppose to just leave like you, and not care that I'm missing class? Unlike you some people honor their responsibilities." Justin felt a bubble of pride swelling up within him, having just told off the most popular guy in school. Justin turned away from Richard, smiling to himself and started back toward school. "Responsibilities is that what you call it, is that how you fool yourself through another day?" The question was sneered in a way that made Justin want to ignore it; pretend it hadn't been heard, continuing toward the school. "You're so fucking weak Justin; you can't even think for yourself you do what you're told like a dog. Doesn't it upset you to know you're wasting yourself, your life on other peoples wants…" Taking another drag off his cigarette Richard didn't notice Justin stop, hand reached out for the door. That was just it, Justin had been bullied his whole life and he took it, accepted it, felt use to it. But in all his life no bully had ever been able to break and cut as deep as Richard Haywood. Every word directed toward Justin was Fire or Ice, he never knew which to expect. All pride vanished Justin froze in place. "Oh and you're not? Inviting strangers to your party, as if you're not trying to impress people?" Justin felt shaken, Richards comment had struck him hard, harder then he wanted to show. "What are you saying you don't want to go to my party Justin? You want to stay here at school, like a good boy?" The word good oozed out almost sounding threatening, Justin wavered in place caught between give into Responsibilities as he always did and standing his ground against Richard as he wanted to. "I doubt your party would be any fun, and what would I do now if I left school, go home. Doesn't sound so great to me." The look in Richard's eyes confirmed to Justin he had just kicked himself in this battle of wit. "Haha, You don't think my parties are fun Pendleton, how could you know since you've never been? Just go home from here; you obviously don't realize there is a whole world outside of these walls, all you need is someone to show you the ropes." Gesturing toward the school while still facing Justin, Richard flicked the remnants of his cigarette in the grass.

Justin knew better, he knew better… But standing so close to Richard, feeling the hot sun on his skin Justin throw away his logic, "And you might be the best one to show me the ropes?" Justin felt nervous as he watched Richard. "Hell ya, I'm your man. Now let's go." With that Justin followed Richard toward his Mustang leaving the school behind….

LATER THAT DAY

"So how has your day been so far Justin?"

Justin looked up at Dr.Wellington suddenly surprised, he hadn't felt much like talking this evening.

"Oh boring I guess, nothing much to report on" Turning back Justin continued watching the fish swim around their artificial world.

Observing Justin as he watched the fish sparked a memory in Wellington's mind that developed into a question….

"Justin why did you name your favorite fish Richie Haywood" The Doctor eyes focused sharply trying to detect any physical response from Justin.

For a brief barely there moment Justin stiffened as if struck, taking a slow deep breath he turned to face Wellington head on.

"I named him Rich Haywood, because the Haywood's are all rich. Not Richie Haywood, what reason would I have to do that?"

Justin was quiescent and only the small crack in his voice gave him away to the lie he released.

"Uh huh hmm" Agreed Wellington as he made note of Justin's lie in his folder for future review.

"I just find it a bit odd you naming a fish after one of our town's families. Is there any reason for this?"

"Well I…." A shadow passed over Justin's bright blue eyes.

"I just thought maybe if he was a rich Haywood it would make up for the fact that he doesn't fit in with the rest of the fish. It's immature I know, I was just feeling childish the day I said that is all. No real reason for it, sort of like a joke I guess."

Keeping his eyes focused on the wall directly beside Wellingtons head, Justin did well not to make eye contact. Perhaps if Justin had looked at the doctor he would have seen Wellington critically examining him making mental notes of his strained words and tense form, yes all of this was revealing to Wellington Justin's lies. For the first time in three years, the doctor could now tell when Justin told a lie! What a break through, often times in the past Wellington suspected Justin of a fabrication but had nothing more then that a feeling. Now studying Justin's physical responses he had a method, a way to tell for sure without alerting his patient. For Wellington was very sure Justin had named that fish Richie Haywood, since the day before this meeting he had listened to the taped conversation from over a year ago. Wellington liked to tape his patients, to keep each person's dilemmas fresh in his mind from sessions prior without having to recap anything. Not wanting to push Justin further, and risking him to clam up completely on the topic, Wellington changed course: Asking Justin more about Nietzsche and Freud and some of their other common interest….


	4. Experience

It occurred to me that the reason I take forever to update anything is because I make my chapters too long, making writing each one more like a daunting assignment verses a fun little hobby. So alas to actually finish what I've started I'm going to have several more, smaller chapters to get the creative juices flowing. I hope this doesn't bother anyone, just think more updates! SW

Justin knew this was a bad idea. Every logical thought inside him was screaming that in this moment. But something about the way Richard smiled, something about the way light got caught in his shining eyes kept Justin quiet. There was no good way for this to end, but with Richard by his side maybe that wasn't so bad?

It was a beautiful day the sun was out not a cloud in the sky. Blue and green lit up the world around them as a warm breeze passed through Justin's hair. He couldn't help but to smile openly. This was by far the dumbest thing he had ever done, but perhaps also the most exciting and fun. Speeding around town in a stolen car, to look at Richard you wouldn't think he had a care in the world. A 1962 red Jaguar convertible with white wall wheels, it practically screamed, "LOOK AT ME!" making it a dangerous "hot" ride for anyone. "So how does it feel to be in style?" smirked Richard leaning back with one hand on the wheel. Justin simply returned his smile as he had done when he and Richard had casually jumped into the car about 3 miles back. It had been parked in an overnight garage, "probably some rich business guy's while he's out of town" explained Richard checking for the coast to be clear as he and Justin jumped over the chain link fence. Once inside Richard casually disabled the gates alarm and manually pushed it open from the inside. Inside the lot they had their pick of any car, but of course Richard had to have the flashiest most dangerous car there. "Wouldn't it be safer to chose something a little less noticeable?" asked a nervous Justin as he tried to keep up with Richard's fast pace. "If we're doing this, than we're going all the way. Don't offer to take me to the prom and just kiss me goodnight, not when I'm aiming to get laid" Winked Richard causing Justin to flush crimson. "Come on, there wont be anyone here until tomorrow morning when they do a spot check of all the cars. Meaning we get all day and night with this baby" smiled Richard all teeth. So here they were driving around in broad daylight in a stolen car. Justin couldn't seem to keep his heart from racing this all happened so fast, and what was he doing? "Hey Justin you want to try one of those new Sonic floats?" asked Richard pulling into Sonic. "Richard there's a cop!!" gasped Justin breaking out into a sweat. Lo and behold parked right next to them was a police officer taking his break. "Chill out Pendleton, just act cool" whispered Richard nodding. "Hello there office" wavered Richard. "Why hello there young man; shouldn't you be in school?" Asked the older officer keenly. "Oh no sir, I had to leave early to take my brother home, he's sick. Thought some food my help him feel better" lied Richard expertly. Justin could see them being arrested in his mind. Could feel the hard slap of cold metal bracelets and could hear his mother's cries. But it never came. The older officer simply nodded politely to Richard, told Justin to feel better and drove off. Just like that, they were out of danger. "What the hell?" yelled Justin panicking, "You almost got us caught" "Calm down Pendleton. I was just having a little fun, nothing happened we're fine" shrugged Richard scanning the food menu from his window. Taking deep breaths Justin turned away, unsure of if he was mad at Richard or thankful for just having had his most exhilarating experience.


	5. The skills we have

Plopping down on Dr. Wellington's leather chair Richard casually scanned the office. From his viewpoint everything was neat, orderly, precisely placed. He hated it of course, it all reminded him of his father the only reason he was confined here. The Doctor whom appeared to be sleeping was hunched forward breathing deeply with his glasses slipping down his nose and the latest copy of Psychology Today loosely clutched between his fingers. Slowly getting up from his chair, Richard carefully cracked open the nearest Bay window, with the expertise of someone that has been secretly smoking at home for years, Richard quietly pushed down his mechanical lighter letting the end of his cigarette burn red before slipping the lighter back in his pocket. He half leaned half sat against the window so that if the doctor was to away suddenly it would be just a matter of flicking the cigarette remains and falling back into the chair in one quick motion. After four or five drags and listening to the doctors increasing nasally snore Richard was bored. Dropping the cigarette on the sidewalk and closing the window, he resumed sitting only now he let his eye's wonder around the office. Everything looked the same, boring brown and beige surrounded him and a large over weight man snoring in the center of all this boringness pulled it everything together. Suddenly something by the doctor's left side caught Richards attention. A large metal filing cabinet marked only by a year on each drawer sat extremely close to the good doctor's side. Easing out of his seat, he slipped off his shoes and hiding them under the leather chair he padded his way over to the cabinet. Hovering mere inches from it, the sight of circular key holes stopped Richards prying eyes from seeing more. Remembering something he had once seen in a movie, Richard crouched low to the floor and softly lifted up one side, using his shoulder and left hand to hold the large and unusually heavy cabinet Richard used his free hand to push up the right front part. Nothing happened, taking a shaky breath from exertion he tried again only harder this time. A loud pop sounded as the right side of the cabinet gave way. Gasping and coughing loudly Doctor Wellington awake with a start. Richard dared not move, in the hopes the side of the doctors desk gave him enough cover. Looking around wildly and quite flustered doctor Wellington decided he was alone. Looking at his watch he pulled out a small black recorded, "Make note Richard Haywood absent from today's meeting, end note" Richard squirmed in discomfort, Oh great thanks a lot asshole. Thought Richard bitterly remaining perfectly still, he patiently waited until Wellington went back to sleep appearing he decided to use up the rest of Richard's paid time on a nap. When the increasingly nasal snoring began again Richard slowly moved back around to the front of the file cabinet, and like a kid and a toy store happily looked inside. Flipping through an assortment of poems by Allen Ginsberg Justin is trying to focus, though something here feels off…Almost transgressed. No that's none sense shakes away Justin looking back to his beloved pages. "Is there one in particular you wish to read aloud" asked Wellington idly gazing toward Justin waiting. "Well it just…" Still something…Something here is off. Looking around Justin can't place it. Did the doctor move things around, add something new? No, nothing all looks the same everything in its place. "Were you aware of Allen Ginsberg homosexuality?" asked Wellington suddenly startling Justin out of his thoughts. "I don't see what that should have to do with his work" evaded Justin skillfully hiding behind his own words. "You don't think the relations we have with other people, the way we interact with them has any effect on the way we view our world and those around us?" Inquired Wellington searching. And almost automatically Justin went into lying mode. Sitting up straighter tense, staring over Wellington's shoulder, not making eye contact his voice slightly strained. This was an interesting development, thought Wellington carefully watching Justin. "How we interact with others and how they perceive us, has little to do with who we are and what we can accomplish in my opinion." Stated Justin slowly almost staged as if he had been preparing for this question his whole life. "You don't think the persecutions Ginsberg faced had any influence on his poetry and what made him so great in the eyes of others?" pressed forward Wellington. Once again Justin paused as if absorbing the underlying meaning behind Wellington's words. "He could have been born with the personal resources to accomplish great poetry whether persecuted or not" Justin breathed deeply wanting nothing more than to change the subject. "Perhaps" conceded Wellington, "Perhaps he was always capable of greatness but it took the persecution to really bring it out in him to bring his inner struggles to light" finished Wellington calmly. "I went joyriding" interrupted Justin haste-fully. "You did what?" wondered Wellington aloud, surely he hadn't heard this correct. "Me, I went for a joyride in someone else's car" clarified Justin. "In someone else's car?" asked Wellington eye's searching Justin for any signs that he was lying. "Yes, for a joyride" agreed Justin as if explaining something to a small child. Wellington stayed silent watching. Justin seemed more relaxed now and his voice was not strained only he seemed to fidget a bit. Assuming Justin was simply trying to detour away from the prior subject Wellington shrugged. He had never known Justin to make up stories suddenly to avoid a topic. Meaning this homosexual debate had unhinged Justin just as Wellington had assumed it would for a while now. Wellington had long pondered about Justin's inner sexual struggles but did not want to breach such a sensitive subject without Justin feeling comfortable about it first. Scribbling a note that they had in fact made some head away in Justin's case the doctor settled back in his chair comfortably. "Who's are these?" asked Justin holding up a pair of expensive leather shoes. "Where did you find those?" asked Wellington in confusion. "Underneath my chair" answered Justin eyeing the shoe's he held. "Well they must belong to another patient of mine leave them where you found them, and I'll see to it they are returned" instructed Wellington, too lazy to move from his chair. "Alright" said Justin. It was as he was placing them down, that he saw the initial's RH carved into one side. Eye's widening in surprises Justin quickly shoved the shoe's in his backpack and left.   



	6. You'll be my secret

"You'll be my secret" Whispered Richard from the driver's side as Justin got out of the stolen car. Slamming the door behind him, he watched as Richard revved the engine and shot away, singing along to some horrible music Justin couldn't identify. "Your secret" echoed Justin softly.

The memory of this coupled with the pair of shoes Justin possessed of Richard floundered around with Justin, chaotic and wild…As untamable as Richard's smile….

"You'll be my secret"

The words resounded deep within, trembling slowly inside then building with intensity until they poured out in explosive acrimony aimed toward the wrong person.

"You're never around enough to know me!" screamed Justin realizing how childish his own words sounded while slamming his bedroom door, right in his bewildered mothers face.

Falling onto the comfort of his bed stretched out and staring blankly toward the ceiling; had time to be alone with his thoughts. Too much time and too many thoughts raced around and around without any real destination with no solid conclusions to be reached. Justin hated not knowing, he couldn't stand guessing. Everything needed planning, order and understanding. There was none of that now, not with Richard ripping apart the seams of Justin's carefully crafted world. Turning his head away from the ceiling now facing his desk Justin inhaled sharply the Sonic cup from yesterday remained sitting on his desk. Brightly coloured and calling the mere sight of that cup spread a smile across Justin's face. He wasn't suppose to like chaos and disorder like Richard Haywood but he did…

RJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJR

On the other side of town the main man of Justin's troubles was also in thought, just not the same kind of thought. "Do you think if you mixed the D.N.A of a chicken and a pig you could than create a flying pig?" asked Harris seriously as he pass the joint over to Richard for a hit. "Flying fucking pigs" scoffed Richard reaching out for the joint. "Aw does Richie Rich never wonder about these kinds of things?" giggled Harris clearly stoned. Richard held the joint between his fingers quietly thinking of Doctor Wellington's office. Coughing slightly he handed the now dead roach back to Harris. "What the hells wrong with you Rich got your period or something?" giggle Harris stupidly. "Fuck off. My god damn shoes are missing that's what's wrong" snapped an annoyed Richard. "Oh like its any big deal for your family" waved off Harris lightly. "We're you going?" asked Harris watching Richard getting up to leave suddenly. "Home" replied Richard dryly. Once out of ear shot Richard muttered, "It is a big deal in my family. My dad makes it a big deal" Exiting Richard walked firmly with a purpose. Settling into the seat of his car he turned the engine and began driving. Though instead of making west for his own house he turned east picking up speed Richard humming cheerfully feeling better and better with every mile he put between himself and his house.

JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJR

Something felt wrong to Jason as he lounged back in his bed. What was with him recently it was as if every now and than he would feel uneasy for no obvious reason. Like at Dr. Wellington's office only now he was in the comforts of his own home. Twisting around in the sheets Justin gasp in shock at the sight of Richard Haywood sitting by his outside window in the old oak tree beside Justin's open window. This had to be a dream some sort of strange hallucination. Only it wasn't watching closely Justin saw Richard carefully balance his weight against the truck of the tree as he reached out and pulled himself up to Justin's window ledge with the help of a branch. With the grace of a stealth cat Richard landed perfectly in Justin's room as if this was something he had been doing for years. Justin sat up in bed then watching in shock as Richard looked around the room quietly letting his stare stop right on Justin. "You look good in your bed" grinned Richard smugly. Justin flushed crimson this wasn't something he had expected to see or hear ever in his life, especially from someone like Richard Haywood. Clearing his throat Justin pressed forward knowing he should let Richards comment go but wanting more from it. "What do you mean?" he asked tentatively, eyes lowered slightly. "Hmm I mean…" drawled out Richard clearly appearing somewhat intoxicated as he waved his arms around suggestively. "You would look better in another bed" he finished cheerfully as if this was the most logical and reasonable answer ever. Justin had the strange sense as though he were a 2 year old asking Richard why the sky was blue and getting a basic answer such as, "Because blue's a nice colour" when what he really wanted was to know exactly why Richard was here and what these strangely erotic riddles really meant. "Another bed…?" repeated Justin carefully. "Hm um" nodded Richard still too happy to be sober. "I think maybe you should go home to your own bed" started Justin beginning to get up from his bed. "My bed eh?" thought Richard aloud. "Yes your bed, so you can sleep" agreed Justin now pushing Richard back toward the open window. "No!" snapped Richard suddenly eyes widened in panic causing both boys to stop mid-step toward the window. "I didn't mean…Not yours or mine….ours" gestured Richard desperately. "Look Richard its late and your obviously not in the right frame of mind so its best you go on home and don't do anything you will later regret." Parented Justin calmly, parenting others especially his own mother was something that came naturally to him now. "No please!" cried Richard suddenly grabbing a firm grip around Justin's arm. "Not mine or yours, but yours!" babbled Richard frantically. "I don't understand" relented Justin finally letting Richard explain. "You remember the other day when you and I went joy riding?" prompted Richard, Justin nodded. "Well remember that house I took you to the one up on the bluff…Remember I said it was my home away from home my place to hang out" elaborated Richard. "yeah I remember" confirmed Justin. "It's just you" finished Richard beaming at Justin happily. "Just me?" echoed Justin, "yes" nodded Richard. "Just me what?" asked Justin once again feeling like a 2 year asking simple questions. "It's just you that I've told. That place is only where I go. I took you there so now only you and I know about it. That place is my secret place…So you're my secret." Finished Richard sighing. This was all too much Justin's head was spinning. Is that what Richard had meant, Justin had just assumed that old house were Richard and his friends went drinking and smoking pot. Was Richard telling the truth about him being the only one, or was he just baiting Justin to do what he wanted? While Justin wondered he suddenly became aware of Richard leading him outside to the oak tree. "You have to come" smiled Richard to a confused Justin, "Its not just my place now it's our place" Silently closing the window behind him Jutin went off with Richard since he was, His secret.


	7. Dinner

Once they arrived at the bluff Justin followed Richard inside the dilapidated house noting that there was a warm glow emanating from within. Upon closer inspection Justin realized there was a hearty fire burning brightly from the center of the house in the fireplace. Looking around nervously Justin made mental notes of things that were at first missing, the old broken chairs, a splintered table. But what was most noticeable were the new things that had been added. A sturdy wooden table, two new chairs, some brightly patterned carpet…And silk sheets covered the large bed. The bed looked…newish, while the frame remained the same it appeared there was a new box spring, and mattress. The dark red sheets held in place by the dark black pillows looked….Kind of….Well placed, Thought Justin shaking. "Do you like what I've done to the place?" asked a very proud looking Richard stoking the fire's embers. Justin couldn't tear his eyes away from the bed, but tried painfully to speak normally. "Uh yeah…Is this the um bed you meant?" choked Justin. Richard walk around from the fire place to stand right beside Justin both of them facing the perfectly made black and red bed that stood before them. Grinning relentlessly Richard reached out his arm to when it was just barely covering Justin's shoulder. Justin froze, unsure of the next move, heart pounding, blood pumping hard and fast like his breathing. This was too much this was too fast! They had only fallen into each others realms a mere week ago! Justin could feel Richard's fingers moving smoothly down across his back, landing on his hip. He could feel Richard inching toward him, his breath on his neck…

"I should go!" gasped Justin in panic. Richard's grip on Justin's hip tightened, cutting into his skin holding him at the bone. He wiped his head around facing Richard fully. Richard's eyes were fixed on his and for a second of eternity nothing existed but them. "Now you decide to be shy?" purred Richard sweetly now appearing completely sober. "Richard" whispered Justin fear pulsating from within. And with the slow tenderness never shown to any girl Richard had crossed, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Justin's. Justin held out, teeth bared refusing admittance. Richard brought up his hands cupping Justin's face for better assess. Than just when Justin thought it was over Richard bit him! His lower lip stung and by reflex he opened his mouth allowing Richard the entrance he demanded. His body pulled back in shock, fight or flight kicked in leaving him as always with flight but he under estimated Richards strength and will, as Justin pulled away Richard slammed hard into him causing them to both plummet right in the middle of the bed. He could feel Richards hands roaming, pulling up his shirt, finger nails digging into his skin. Richard's tongue moved like a snake in and out of Justin's mouth, the only sounds were of hard breathing, and the rustlings of cloths. Richard soon found his arms empty as he watched a terrified Justin run from him, out of the house into the night trying to escape everything that had just happened. Richard smiled to himself stretching out across the bed just as he had seem Justin doing earlier at his house. Richard pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one up waiting. It was than he noticed his shirt was ripped open and he had bleeding scratch marks on his chest, "Justin you devil" laughed Richard examining the marks. "You'll be back"

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Justin ran deep into the night's darkness praying he could get home without being noticed. He was sweating, his cloths were in disarray, and his lip was bleeding. He didn't want to think about what had just happened, because none of it made sense and the only thing that mattered right now was getting back home as soon as possible. He never should have let Richard drive him up here on the bluff not when he was clearly intoxicated and acting so strangely. Justin had objected of course but Richard said he wouldn't leave unless Justin came with him and got to drive there since it was his plan to go to the bluff. Justin was now starting to seriously wonder about Richard's "plan" and hated being in this situation. Stranded miles from home at midnight on a school night of all things! Justin jogged toward home staying away from main roads and traffic. While keeping to the shadows Justin couldn't stop his mind from replaying every word, every move, and every touch every taste…His body was working against him. He needed to get home and get cleaned up. This had to be just some sick joke that Richard and all his friends were playing on Justin. In the morning at school everyone would know about it and be laughing at him! That had to be it; why else would this have happened. Justin was fully aware of his place in the high school caste system he did not for a second believe one of the power players like Richard Haywood could ever for a second consider him…as more than a pawn or laky of some sort. The popular kids messed with the outcast that's just the way it was, had always been, and would probably always be Justin had no doubts about that. But something about the way Richard had been pressing against him, with such urgency, such raw passion…Somehow it just didn't feel fake.

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It was easy for Richard to get cleaned up for school the next day. He parked his car down the street from his house and came in the back way so no one would see him. Climbing up the stairs Richard could hear his dad on the phone,

"Oh yes Richard and I are very close, best friends really. Just last night we were watching old horror flicks and talking about women. He and I are just a like, two of a kind. I just love how he can come to me and knows I will always be there for him. That's what parenting's all about Fred. Love and let love" Lied Lawrence Haywood charmingly. Richard rolled his eyes and tried not to scream as he ran up the stairs to change cloths. Once at school Richard was on the alert, keeping his eyes and ears focused on any news or sightings of Justin. It was agonizing waiting only snippets of passing conversation let him know Justin had come to school. "Did you see his lip? Poor guy must of gotten beat up" said one girl passing through the hallway. Richard listened intently for the name Justin in all the hall conversations but it so rarely came out to be the right Justin…His Justin. "…He seems really tired, he looks awful." Remarked another student as Richard casually walked by he wandered if that was about Justin or himself. Richard decided to skip 3rd period since he remembered Justin had Spanish with Ms. James than the same class he had 4th. Standing outside the door he watched the flood of students pass by him, several guys stopped to give him a high five or a pat on the shoulder while most girls glared at him and stomped passed. Meh can't please 'em all Thought Richard scanning the thinning hallways for Justin. Seeing Justin running to class from a different hallway, Richard moved back behind the open door to prevent Justin from seeing him.

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Justin was running late. Running late to every class today actually, this was no surprise since he had only gotten two hours of sleep last night. He was sick of people looking at him with pity today all assuming he had gotten the crap beat out of him, though luckily it appeared none of them knew the real reason. This only went on to confuse Justin more about Richards motives last night. Gaining speed Justin could now see the open door to his 3rd period Spanish class wide open, he might just make it. Than as he got closer Ms. James reached out from within the class and closed the door, locking it from within as she always did when the tardy bell rang, leaving Richard Haywood standing beside the door now exposed from hiding. Stopping mid-step only fifteen feet away Justin tried desperately to turn around, to once again get away. Only Richard was quicker. ""Will you have dinner with me?" Asked Richard suddenly beside Justin

"Not while I can still feed myself" Replied Justin calmly not making eye contact. "Than do you want to run away?" asked Richard point blank. Justin was suddenly thankful for them to be talking in an empty hallway. Shifting his weight from one foot to another Justin paused, was this a trick question? "Depends on what I would be running away from" challenged Justin. Both of them standing still in the deserted hallway, Richard breaking the silence with the flick of his lighter, "You know what I mean" growled Richard in frustration. He stared down Justin as he began smoking boldly inside the school. "No I don't. You're just playing with my head!" shouted Justin angrily stepping forward. "HEY YOU KIDS GET OVER HERE NOW!" yelled a school security guard walking toward them, glancing briefly at each other Justin and Richard took off running side by side down the hall. Neither stopping until they got to Richard's car, "So is this a yes to dinner?" grinned Richard triumphantly, "Just drive" instructed Justin buckling his seat belt.


	8. The price of your name

_Why was it the worse this situation got the better things felt?_ Wondered Justin idly staring out the window of the speeding car, Richard and Justin hadn't spoken a word to each other since first getting away from school but it was known to both of them where they were going…The one place no one would look, their place. It felt like no time at all before Richard was cutting off the engine and opening his door, walking up to the old house, cigarette in hand, waiting smugly by the door for Justin to follow. It struck Justin at that moment watching Richard that he had been allowing himself to be led by Richard, following his lead without complaint. Getting out of the car Justin held his breath in anticipation as he followed Richard back into the house shutting the door behind them.

Justin's heart was racing. Sitting in the nearest chair he looked over toward Richard who was now circling the room like a caged tiger. Or maybe he was just circling Justin like that. Clearing his throat Justin wanted to get to the bottom of this, whatever this was. "Why are you doing this, and why involve me?" asked Justin carefully watching Richard. There was a long pause where only the sound of waves crashing against the rocks below them could be heard and Justin began wandering if Richard had heard him or was simply ignoring his question. Richard had stopped pacing and came around the table facing Justin; pulling out the other chair he quietly sat down taking a second to examine his black shirt for stray hairs. Looking up Richard licked his lips smiling he locked eyes with Justin before speaking. "Do you remember the first thing you ever said to me?" asked Richard leaning forward. Justin hesitated this wasn't the answer he had expect. "The first thing I said?" repeated Justin "Yes" encouraged Richard. "I don't know. Leave me alone or something like that" answered Justin slightly confused as to where this was going. "You said, 'Just because you have the money to build a castle doesn't mean you should lock yourself inside of it.' Do you remember that?" Asked Richard from across the table. Justin's face fell, "I'm leaving. No matter what I said to you years ago, it's no reason to mess with me now. You've had your fun at my expense, now I'm going." Snapped Justin pulling away agitated. "You don't get it!" yelled Richard suddenly losing patience. "You were right. You have been the only person all these years brave enough to be honest with me and not kiss my ass because of my last-name. You're the only person that see's me as who I am rather than what I am!" yelled Richard. Nothing moved and for a second no one breathed. "To know you're an asshole?" smirked Justin teasing. "Exactly" laughed Richard nodding cheerfully. "Let's get out of here" smiled Richard getting up from his chair. "What was that about dinner you mentioned earlier?" followed Justin closely behind. The whole while they had been there Justin had only eyed the bed when Richard wasn't looking…

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Lawrence Miles Haywood was having a pretty good day thus far. Strolling casually through the Hillsdale Mall he enjoyed looking at the structure inside and out since he did finance its construction not to mention going to the mall was always a good excuse to leave work and meet up with his mistress of the month Janet…

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6:04pm read the wall clock at Dr. Wellington's office. Alice, Wellington's front desk employee smiled with glee. Young Richard Haywood was late again; she secretly hoped he wouldn't show up at all so she could have the privilege of calling Mr. Haywood and telling him his son had missed yet another appointment. Nothing in the world annoyed Alice more than entitlement whores' and Richard Haywood was as spoiled as they came. Calling to inform his father he was absent would have to get him in some trouble she hoped. People like him who had everything made her sick and she felt it was her duty as a good person to get him in trouble even if it was something as small as his dad yelling at him or taking away his awesome car for a day. Because really, with all that money how much trouble could Richard Haywood actually get into. Even if it were just a slap on the wrist it made Alice smile as she picked up the phone to call Mr. Haywood that she was helping.

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By the time the sun was setting both boys were worn out from driving around town. Richard had insisted they stop at EVERY diner and order pie. "That way, whenver we want quality pie we'll know where to go" grinned Richard childishly. Justin would never admit it but he was enjoying Richard's immature pie tasting antics and kept his complaints to a minimum. After several miles and a dozen slices of pie later both boys felt sick. Getting back into Richard's car from waffle house #9 "Um do you want to go home?" asked Richard giving Justin a sidelong look from the driver's side. "Uh…Well yeah I guess" said Justin weakly. "I mean we could go…" started Richard "Yes!" interrupted Justin excitedly. "How do you know I wasn't about to say Mexico?" laughed Richard at Justin's fast reply. "I mean yes if you want to go back to the house…" corrected Justin cheeks burning crimson. "Well you don't have to talk me into it" teased Richard loving the look of embarrassment covering Justin's face. "Onward to our house!" announced Richard pumping his fist in the air gleefully, as they began driving in the bluff's direction.

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Once back inside the sanctity of their house Richard threw himself lazily onto the bed still messed up from the other night. Justin sat down at the hearth building a fire, doing anything he could to keep his attention away from Richard. "Want to play truth or dare?" asked Richard from over Justin's shoulder. "Aren't we a little too old to being playing that?" said Justin refusing to look up from his handiwork. "Only if you're to lame to play" chided Richard. Justin took a deep breath, turning around he sat on the edge of the hearth watching Richard. "Alright, you first" sighed Justin.

"Hmm I dare you…"

"Don't I get to choose first?"

"No that's why its called a dare" winked Richard

"No, choose whether I want to tell the truth or do a dare" argued Justin

"I thought you said we were too old for the kiddy version so this is the new improved adult version." Reasoned Richard happily

"Mm Hm" mumbled Justin

"So I dare you to sit on the bed beside me" coaxed Richard patting the bed suggestively.

"Uh…"

"Oh come on Pendleton it's just a bed" called out Richard. Justin hesitantly walked over to the bed, until he was standing right over Richard. Richard looked up at him and for a moment Justin remembered every ache and longing from the past night. Every touch and taste burst to live in his senses. "I have a dare for you" said Justin as he sat down beside Richard on the red and black bed.

"Hmm?" Richard leaned forward grabbing hold of Justin's waist and pulling him down.

"Whatever happens here between us stays here between us." Gasp Justin grabbing at Richard desperately. A light struggle of arms, legs, and hard kisses broke out. Justin finally allowed Richard dominance over him, both of them breathing hard, pressing into each other though still clothed. Richard held himself up, pressing his hands into the mattress, Justin trapped beneath him. Lowering his face slowly Richard could feel Justin shaking slightly, looking deep into his eyes. Richard pressed several small kisses up Justin's neck to his face before claiming his lips again. Just as Richard grabbed the edge of Justin's boxers and Justin arched forward allowing Richard space to pull them off, his cell phone began ringing. "_**Dude looks like a lady!**_" sang out Richard's phone notifying him it was his father calling. "Shouldn't you answer…?" whispered Justin nervously. "No" grimaced Richard throwing the cell phone from his pocket across the room. **"**_**Dude looks like a lady!**_" called his phone from across the room. "I don't care about that" snapped Richard sounding harsher than he intended. Justin reached out, pulling Richard's mouth down to his in a hungry embrace. Richard curled his legs around Justin's possessively, rubbing harder against each other both of them starting to lose control. "_**Dude looks like a lady!**_" screeched the cell phone annoyingly. Grunting in frustration Richard pulled himself away from Justin marched over to the cell phone and promptly threw it off the bluff to the crashing waves below. "Wont you get in trouble for that?" asked Justin from their bed. "Trouble, I'm already in trouble" waved off Richard getting back into bed with Justin.

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Once back in bed Justin wrapped himself up in Richard only now Richard was distant, rolling away from Justin. Justin could feel Richard's heart racing and wondered if it was because os what they had been doing or about who had been calling just then. Justin stared at Richard's back for a second swept up in raging hormones and confusion that began morphing instantly into feelings of rejection. Feel used and tossed aside Justin turned away from Richard thinking maybe it best for him to leave when strong arms wrapped around him. Richard held Justin close against him, snuggling his face between Justin's shoulder and ear. "I'm sorry" breathed Richard in a low husky voice. Justin held Richard's arms tightly against him, "S'kay" sighed Justin leaning into Richard. Justin wasn't sure what was wrong but for tonight with Richard holding him it didn't really matter…


	9. Interference

INTERFERENCE

CHAPTER NINE

The next morning came too soon.

Justin rolled away from the streaming sunlight that threatened to wake him. He rolled all over the bed before realizing he was alone. Opening his eyes tentatively he yawned, stretching out he looked up only to gasp in surprise. Staring right back at him was a face: His face. Apparently Richard enjoyed seeing things from all angles and had achieved this view by mounting a king size mirror on the ceiling directly over the bed. Justin stared openly at himself; the reflection brightly contrasted his pale skin against the darkness of the red sheets and black pillows. "I look dead" he commented turning his face from side to side while watching himself closely. "Not dead, angelic" responded the fire place…Wait the fireplace? Justin did a double take. There Richard stat crouched within the fireplace smoking, quite literally like a chimney. Justin sat up in bed and stared blankly at the smoke curling up from the fireplace's darkness for a good second. "Haven't you been told it's rude to stare" joked Richard. "You're in the fireplace" observed Justin. "Oh is this a game?" laughed Richard, "Because I can see that you're in a bed" he bantered. "But…Why the fireplace?" asked Justin. "Well it actually has to do with you being in the bed" sighed Richard. "Wait…What?" blinked Justin. "I'm in the fireplace because you're in the bed, it's rather simple actually" explained Richard. "Are you ever going to be straight forward in answering?" grumbled Justin getting frustrated. "I'm smoking in the fireplace because I didn't want you to wake up and think I had pulled a, 'wham bam thank you ma'am' or in this case Sam" smirked Richard, "and I also didn't want my cigarette smoke to bother your clean, pink lungs" gestured Richard waving his hand out for emphasis. "Oh...Kay" accepted Justin getting off the bed and approaching the fireplace, "we should get to school" Justin prompted.

"No, no. You go on to school it will look less suspicious if I skip and you go in late rather then if we both go in late" reasoned Richard still sitting in the darkness of the fireplace. "Well what about after school?" whispered Justin turning away from the fireplace toward the door. "I'll be here" answered Richard reading Justin's implication, "Well here as in our place, not here as in the fireplace" joked Richard. "Alright" nodded Justin, "Try to stay out of trouble" teased Justin light heartedly Richard having put him in a good mood thus far. "Me…Trouble? Never" laughed Richard watching Justin leave. Richard waited until he could no longer hear Justin's foot steps receding before emerging from the fireplace's darkness. He hadn't intended letting Justin know he was there watching and listening. But it was Justin's comment about looking dead that had caused the words, _"Not dead, angelic" _to tumble out revealing his hiding place. Standing in front of the messed up bed, Richard looked up at the mirror above him examining his shiny new black eye and busted lip he looked away disgusted. "Thanks dad" spat out Richard reaching for his car keys. Ah the wonders of sunglasses and cosmetics this would be another morning when these simple things would do him much good.

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Richard had made the mistake of going home, why couldn't he have stayed in bed with Justin? Everything was nice there comfortable, safe. Unlike here where his mother lived in a dream world and he was forced to fend for himself against his father's tyranny. He didn't feel it coming so much as he saw it coming. A hard right hook sucker punch across his face, popping open his jaw painfully. He was down on the floor so fast, his head was spinning. He had just walked in the living room, not even fully across the thresh hold, and now he lay looking up at the ceiling the booming of his fathers voice vibrating the space around him. Richard knew what to do in these moments, these times of hardship. He hated it, beyond any words I could possible type to describe the hate that swelled within him at enduring this. Richard lay perfectly still, unmoving, waiting on edge for the beating that would inevitably follow. This was what Richard liked to call 'The dead dog' as if it were a yoga pose. He resorted to this because he knew it was better to lay here and take his fathers abuse now then if he tried to get away or defend himself those options always made the situation worse for him and dragged out the abuse longer. So laying flat on his back looking up at the ceiling Richard did the only thing a seasoned veteran of abuse can do, he went to his happy place. A place where everything went his way and all doors were unlocked to only him; it didn't dull the pain of each kick and hit but it did get him through the whole ordeal without crying…

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Justin was sure all eyes were on him as soon as he walked in the building wearing yesterday's cloths. Nervously pushing through the hallways he concocted a great excuse for his recent behavior of leaving school early and arriving late. He was simply worried about his sick mother, and needed to go check on her often and stay with her a little longer in the morning's yes that was it. Only lunch time rolled around and no one seemed to care enough to ask him or even notice. Of course Richard was the talk of the school as always, even when absent from school he was mister popular. For the first time Justin actively listened to all the chatter around him about Richard wanting to see how much of it held truth.

"I heard he felt like a vacation so his dad flew him out to Hawaii on the family jet for a few days"

"You know Richard was planning to smoke bomb the teacher's lounge only he was caught setting it up so he's suspended again"

"I bet Richard's out because he got Chlamydia from screwing Abby. Serves them both right"

By the end of lunch Justin was so amused by all the speculations he couldn't help but grin, maybe being an outcast had its perks at least no one was making up rumors about him. But still it must be nice to be notice at least sometimes thought Justin idly staring out the window in 5th period.

"Mister Pendleton would you please be both physically and mentally present in my class" announced Ms. Greer pointedly from across the room.

"Oh uh sorry" offered Justin weakly lowering his head.

"Justin would you please stay after class to speak to me" added Ms. Greer

An eruption of giggles crossed the room, Justin had never been in trouble.

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Rita Haywood had a glamorous life by anyone's standards. Perfectly polished nails, beautifully highlighted hair, lovely Italian shoes, cute designer handbags, prim and polished clothing, an elegant car and pristine friends and to top it all off a tall, trim, and charming husband along with an adorable, rambunctious son. Yes Rita Haywood had it all so of course it was sometimes easy for her to ignore certain things. Sometimes her darling husband and wonderful son needed to have a father son moment, just a nice bit of male bonding which she made sure to stay out of.

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Richard was pretending to casually scan the grocery stores aisles, basket in hand, sunglasses in place as he strolled through the place. If anyone he knew was around he could easily play off being sick and having a headache to explain the sunglasses and being absent from school. Should it be an adult, he claimed fever, another student a hangover either way his cover was maintained. His basket filled with cold medicine, Tylenol, hot pockets, and soda. He made sure as he quickly walked down the cosmetic aisle to grab just the right shade of congealer, B12 honey he didn't need to stop and compare or figure out his shade since he already knew. Stuffing the goods beneath his other items. It was while walking toward the register that he heard it, the name that stopped him in his tracks, backing up Richard stood perfectly still listening intently to the conversation in the next aisle.

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"Is there anything bothering you Justin" asked Ms. Greer watching him closely

"Bothering me?" repeated Justin fidgeting slightly

"You haven't been participating in class, coming in late your homework not turned in. It's not like you Justin. If there is something going on that is upsetting you maybe it's something you should mention so I can cut you some slack as long as I know you're going to bounce back"

Justin ran his tongue along the inside of his lip feeling the cut left by Richard, focusing on the sting he gave a faint smile.

"Are you even listening to me Justin?" snapped Ms. Greer

"Yes Ms. Greer. It's just…There is something troubling me" began Justin looking down.

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"Mrs. Pendleton!" Called out an older woman's voice

"Alice!" Greeted Mrs. Pendleton

"How are you?"

"Very good and you?"

"Well as always"

"So how is Justin?"

"Oh good I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"Well he does seem to be going through some mood swings this last week, nothing serious though" said Mrs. Pendleton

"Any idea as to what's wrong?" inquired Alice Mr. Wellington's receptionist

"Teenage drama no doubt" waved off Mrs. Pendleton lightly

"Ah well whatever it is I'm sure the good ole doctor will get to the bottom of it" offered Alice.

Richard leaned in closer against the wall of canned peas to better hear them.

"I just never seem to have any trouble out of Justin until recently and I'm not sure what it could be about and how to help" sighed Mrs. Pendleton

"Well I shouldn't tell you this but…" "Excuse me!" growled an older man as he pushed past Richard cutting off what Alice had been saying to Mrs. Pendleton. Quickly trying to listen again Richard only caught the tail end.

"The doctor isn't sure if Justin is involved or not so keep an eye out" warned Alice

"Oh I will thanks Alice, I'm sure Justin will see you soon" exited Mrs. Pendleton

_Involved in WHAT? _Panicked Richard, what was that old quack up to now? If he thought Justin and Richard were involved in each other, oh the horrible implications feared Richard darting past the cranky old man that had interrupted his ease dropping. Flying through the self check out line, Richard was bagged and out of there just as Mrs. Pendleton looked up from her cart and saw him race out the door. "I wonder what's got him so upset" she muttered.


	10. Decieve & Believe

DECIEVE AND BELIEVE

CHAPTER TEN

Justin pulled his car up to the bluff, slowly cutting off the ignition.

The house looked dark on the inside but there was no doubt Richard waited for him inside.

Clenching his hands around the steering wheel Justin knew he could easily turn back now start the car and just drive away pretend none of this had happened, end it before it threatened to end him in some horribly embarrassing way.

Because as much as Justin wanted to believe Richard's interest were genuine and the attraction mutual he just couldn't allow himself to even hope such a ridiculous thing, there had to be a catch and by discovering this fire between them it was just a matter of time before he would go down in flames, burned beyond recognition.

Swallowing hard Justin reached out to turn the key and restart the car only instead he found himself pulling them out and getting out the car.

_I guess there's truth to the saying the mind may take advice but not the heart and how fitting the quote being one of Capote's_ Thought Justin opening the front door.

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Richard lay in the bed, wrapped up tightly in the red satin sheets.

He heard Justin's car arrive he heard the car turn off and waited for Justin to come in. Only Justin hesitated, and after a minute of waiting Richard started to wonder if he was going to simply drive away leaving Richard alone.

The thought made his skin crawl like a cold draft in the summertime.

It was only when Richard heard Justin slam the car door shut and the crunch of his shoes in the gravel approaching did Richard let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

It wasn't that he needed Justin's company he theorized it was just that he enjoyed the secrecy.

The door opened spilling in the remaining sunlight from outside Richard kept his eyes' shut breathing steadily he wanted to see what Justin would do if he thought he was asleep.

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Looking over the room it was obvious Richard hadn't been here through out the day.

There was a taco bell cup on the table beside a half eaten burrito.

A duffle bag of Richard's cloths lay unzipped and spilling out by the fire place and a dead looking Richard lay wrapped up in the far corner of the bed.

Nothing too threatening by the looks of it Justin mentally evaluated.

Stepping over a few of Richard's things Justin wasn't sure what to do it was just past eight p.m. and the sun was setting, still too early for sleep.

Sitting on the edge of the fireplace Justin took everything in just quietly watching, when Justin heard Richard thrash about muttering incoherently in his sleep.

He got up walked over to the bed and looked down at him, sleeping he looked like a whole different person as if all the smug arrogance Richard radiated had vanished leaving only a young innocent boy in his place.

Sitting down on the bed Justin placed his hand on Richard leg hoping to calm him from his dreams; it seemed to help because then Richard leaned in closer to Justin.

Propping up beside him Justin began messaging Richard's arms and shoulders loving how Richard appeared to enjoy the comforting in his sleep by replacing his thrashing and muttering with soft throaty noises, and hugging onto Justin.

Feeling safe and relaxed Justin scooted fully on the bed bedside Richard and began to sleep, holding him closely.

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_Kudos' for thinking up that fake nightmare_ thought Richard lazily wrapped up in both sheets and Justin now.

Happy to have thought up a way of getting Justin to stay with him another night Richard fell into happy dreams carrying Justin along with him.

It wasn't until later that things became a little more complicated.

"Are you alright, what happened to you?" demanded a concerned Justin hovering over Richard.

It couldn't be past 5a.m. since the sun hasn't risen thought Richard looking up at Justin.

"I'm being woken up, that's what's wrong" mumbled Richard turning over sleepily

"I thought you weren't going to get into any trouble missing school"

"I didn't get into trouble, trouble got into me"

"Seriously Richard you look rough"

"Rough? I think the word you are looking for is 'Handsome" though "pretty" is also acceptable".

"Richard…"

Justin reached out touching Richard's torso, only Richard hissed in pain and turned away quickly. A light bulb went off in Justin then.

"Your face isn't all that's hurt is it?"

"…"

"Richard" Justin moved in forcefully turning Richard over to meet his eyes.

"What happened?"

Richard said nothing and just stared up at Justin.

Suddenly without warning Richard grabbed him by the neck and pulled him down hard. Possessing his lips fiercely Justin willingly opened his mouth hungry to duel tongues with Richard.

Grabbing at Richard's shirt tail, Justin pulled the black tee shirt of him in one quick yank.

Richard delved his hands in Justin's pants pulling wildly at his belt to remove them.

It was as Justin looked down to help Richard remove his own pants that Justin saw them. Crisscrossing his arms, stomach and chest were dozen's of new and old bruises.

A clear line of faded purple, and coal black splotches coloured Richard's skin.

Justin couldn't believe his eye's and had stopped ravaging Richard.

Only Richard hadn't noticed Justin's wide eyed shock and continued grabbing at him pulling away the clothes that divided them and reaching for every inch of flesh to press against him.

It was when Justin was suddenly flipped on his back and felt Richard leaning on him panting into his ear did he suddenly refocus on the current situation.

"RICHARD!"

screamed Justin cutting through the morning's silence like a blade across skin.

A flock of starlings near by took flight…


	11. Forever Yours

CHAPTER ELEVEN

FOREVER YOURS:

"I've been hearing some rather disturbing things about you recently Justin"

Observed Wellington from across the dark wooden desk.

Justin squeezed the life out of his emotions not quite meeting Wellington's watchful eyes.

"I've just been discovering aspects I hadn't realized held so much importance recently."

"Girls?"

Wellington might have been old but he was far from stupid and quickly appeased his hetero assuming blunder.

"Well hormones at your age regardless can be confusing and troubling but fear not they are issues we can work on together, helping you to gather a better understand thus fore a better handle on such matters."

Feeling satisfied he had remedied his error Wellington leaned back, arms folded waiting for Justin to burst under the invitation:

Telling him all about the high school horrors, everyone experiencing while feeling alone.

Only they never came.

Justin continued to gaze into the fish tank silently in a daze.

More perplexing a smile crept across Justin's once somber face, brightening his cheeks rosy red in the corners.

Eye's curiously lifted, head tilted as though about to laugh.

Wellington was so startled by this transformation in Justin's usual calm demeanor he dropped his ball point pen.

Looking up just in time to see Justin's back as he left Wellington's office early for the first time, looking positively delighted.

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Justin was just too tired.

That was his excuse for everything now.

"I'm too tired later." He told his mom about dinner

"I'm too tired" he wavered off the debate team

"I'm too tired" he dismissed his tutoring classes

"I'm too tired" he kept on walking past anyone that crossed his path

A fuzzy blur of school faces, common places, and everyday situations whirled around Justin.

His routine becoming painfully obvious to him by the third day.

He morphed between being two people now, one day the other night.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a shy sheep by light and a lurking wolf by darkness

He was addicted to his new self, this rebellious, wild, passion driven creature that lurked just below the surface of the boring old Justin everyone else knew and ignored.

In Richard's eyes Justin was amazing and no amount of pain could take that away.

The drug questioning came much sooner then anticipated.

Justin thought he would have been given some slack since he was a great student, with perfect attendance before he and Richard collided.

In less time then it took him to write a simple physic's paper teachers and counselors were bombarding him with sugar coated offers of kindness aimed at getting him "better" along with several pairs of ears more then willing to hear whatever he had to say.

Couldn't they see he was broken before and only now he was well?

Justin lived for the night; he was never more awake and alive then with Richard at their place…

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"This is silly" Laughed Justin.

Left arm outstretched, while the right was tightly gripping Richard.

Richard didn't even try to suppress his glee and excitement as he lead Justin blindfolded from the car into their house.

Stumbling and giggling the whole way.

Having Justin sit down facing the table, Richard made a big show of suggestively untying the blindfold.

Raising one eyebrow Justin peered onto the table.

"You're giving me a bucket?" asked Justin staring wide eyed and questioning.

"It's more than that, look inside" encouraged Richard, shifting to one side.

The lapse of silence only heightened Richard's fears.

What if he had misjudged Justin, what if this wasn't enough?

"Richie?" Piped a surprised Justin

"huh" grunted Richard looking up.

"You got me Richie" beamed Justin looking overjoyed.

"You named him…already?" asked a confounded Richard leaning into Justin to gaze upon the small fish.

"How'd you know he was my favorite?' asked Justin astounded

"I didn't, wait your favorite…?"

"I go to Dr. Wellington after school sometimes. Its okay" reassured Justin happily "I know you go too" grinned Justin rising suddenly.

"You do?" Responded a dumbstruck Richard

"Of course" crouching down to his backpack Justin pulled out Richard's leather shoes, holding them in front of him he smirked.

"Look familiar RH?"

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This was crazy, this was ridiculous….Was this love?

Justin's palms were sweating, his heart was pounding.

And the man… The man standing before him, arms extended in a broad sweeping motion looked made of wax.

His spray on tan was two shades too orange, which clashed with his frosted spike hair, wafting off gallons of cheap cologne.

The pale blue pin stripped suit though stylish was completely out of place here in the Ring King Palace with the name 'Gregory" boldly looped across in bright pink ink.

"Oh honey let Greggie-pooh take care of you!" Gushed the thirty something sale's man enthusiastically

"Any idea's on what you have in mind?" he prodded all teeth and gums

"I um…Don't know" shrugged Justin weakly

"Well don't worry honey we got shimmer for whoever makes your heart glimmer"

Leading Justin further into the store, neither noticed the older woman standing out front watching intently…

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"You want me to do what?" grumbled Richard not looking half amused

"Oh come on Richard…It's just me, you and a boxing ring, what's the worse that can happen?" reasoned Justin feigning innocence

"I could beat your face in…Or worse you could get in a lucky hit and hurt my lovely mug" sighed Richard

"I just think boxing is a good way to relieve your uhh… self destructive tenancies." Offered Justin, hand extended

"Oh alright" relented Richard taking the boxing gloves from Justin

How he had ever talked him into this?

Richard did not know but after bouncing around their living room for ten minutes acting silly and both laughing about the absurdity of boxing Richard had backed Justin into the wall.

"Ow it hurts!" doubled over Justin suddenly

"What? What's wrong?" panicked Richard jumping back

"Ow!" wailed Justin waving around his hand

Reaching out Richard ripped off Justin's boxing glove only to find Justin holding a small felt box.

"What the…?" Blinked Richard stepping forward to get a closer look

"It's a present…For you" offered Justin meekly

Glancing from the box to Justin, then back to the box Richard slowly picked it up.

"I thought you were in pain" mumbled Richard while carefully examining the box.

"I actually was in pain. You grabbed the wrong pair of gloves from me.

I had expected you to take the red ones not the green…

So that when you put them on your gift would be inside…

Sparing me from actually having to box" explained Justin quietly looking down.

Laughing, "This better not be an engagement ring inside" teased Richard

"No it's just a box, I know it's what you always wanted"

"Well that's good since I believe in sex before marriage" winked Richard

Opening the box Richard slipped on the shiny ring, admiring it quietly.

"It fits?" asked Justin hopeful

"Just like you in my arms" grinned Richard grabbing Justin happily.

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The other day when I noticed Richie missing from Wellington's office it suddenly struck me as funny."

"What's that?"

"Had I noticed "Richie" missing from his tank before getting to know you I would have been sad thinking the other fish had gotten him for being so small and different looking.

But now…After all this and getting to know you the first thing I thought when I saw him gone was, he had been noticed by another patient and taken to a great home to live with someone and would get his own tank."

"He did get noticed and taken by someone, I'm just glad that someone was you"


	12. Building Ties and Alibi's

CHAPTER TWELVE

BUILDING TIES & ALIBI'S

_Especially when you can feel it in the way the air is thick around you…_

"So we'll be having the spring fling which as you all know means the girls will be asking out the guys"

Richard was having a hard time focusing on the teacher's words in his palm he had just scribbled a short poem for Justin that he liked.

"And no Richard you cannot take more then one girl, even if they are twins"

"Uhh, oh yeah twins are so last semester" shrugged off Richard going back to his writings.

_So tight that you can't breathe and your blood feels alive in your veins…_

"Wow never thought I would live to see the day Haywood would be "working" "Laughed Mr. Templeton.

"I'm allergic to that" corrected Richard loudly to a giggling classroom.

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Justin was annoyed.

Was every girl in school going to "Ask Richard Haywood to the dance"?

It was just first period and already this dance was planned out.

Stephanie, Lisa, and Abby were arguing about who would go the furthest with Richard the night of the dance.

And suddenly Justin was feeling sick.

"What's wrong Bonaparte?" Asked Lisa glancing over

"Jealous?" Smirked Abby knowingly

"Abby!" snapped Lisa causing Stephanie and Abby to burst into laughter

"I'm just …. Tired" brushed off Justin nervously.

"If you're worried about the dance…" Paused Lisa considering her options

"I could go with you, you know as a friend. We could arrive together at least" she offered

"Um, But what about you and Richard?" Justin wondered

"I can still go with Richard just the last part of the dance, that way we can go the first part." She smiled

"Hmm"

_This is probably the only way I can go to the dance… At least if I'm there I can keep an eye on him…Not that I am jealous of anything, because I'm not…_ Justin reasoned mentally.

"Alright I'd love to go with you" agreed Justin.

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"Ask me!" Demanded Richard leaning forward toward Justin

"Ask you what?" Yawned Justin pulling up the covers

"Ask me to the dance genius!" insisted Richard

"What? No! I'm not a girl" Snapped Justin rolling away from Richard.

"Oh come on! I've already been asked and I'm holding out for you so hurry up and ask me!"

"No!" covering his face with the blanket.

"There's going to be a homicide tomorrow if you don't" Whispered Richard seriously.

"Do you plan to kill me if I don't ask you?" questioned Justin looking over his shoulder to Richard who sat on his hunches in bed.

"Of course not, I'm going to be killed tomorrow by a stampede of over caffeinated, under feed, bronzed and plucked model wannabes who simply cannot take no for an answer" sighed Richard dramatically falling backwards beside Justin.

"Poor baby, it must be hard being desired" muttered Justin sarcastically.

"Well you would know" suggested Richard leaning into Justin.

"Why should I have to ask you? I'm NOT a girl" pushed away Justin feigning hurt.

Richard sighed stretching out,

"Alright then Justin"

Grins confidently

"Will you go to the dance with me?"

"Well I'll have to think about it, my schedule is so packed…" replied Justin playfully.

"Tease"

"_Whore_"

"Prude"

"_Slut_"

"Loser"

"_Jerk_"

"Ha-ha"

"_Ha-ha_"

"I don't think two guys can go" Sobered up Justin softly.

"Lot's of guys go all the time" corrected Richard playing naive.

"Together?" Worried Justin looking toward the fire

"Are you saying I'm not cute enough, is that what this is?

You've got somebody else in mind?" gasped Richard acting horrified.

"Uhh" replied Justin slowly.

"Well you've got some nerve Pendleton!

You've done nothing but lead me on for 5 weeks now.

Five long weeks of me behaving myself for you!" Huffed Richard pulling away from Justin

"You've been behaving?" asked an amused Justin.

"Yes in case you hadn't noticed Mister Book-In-Face I've come home to you every night like a good boyfriend so it's about time you loosened up and snuggled a little closer to papa" Invited Richard with the waggle of his eyebrows suggestively.

Rolling right onto Richard, Justin pulled the covers up over them. Pressing his forehead against Richard. Justin pressed his hips against Richards causing them both to gasp. Resting his head on Richard's shoulder Justin grinned,

"I'm the kind of boyfriend that likes taking it slow, and leave the papa at home… That's just gross" Laughed Justin resting himself on top of Richard.

"This would be so much better without cloths on" whined Richard holding onto Justin.

A soft sigh escaped Justin nestled warmly against Richard's chest.

Quietly running his fingers across Justin back Richard smiled; this wasn't too bad after all.

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"Is love selfish or completely selfless?" Asked a confused Justin

"This is similar to a, glass half empty or full question Justin. It just depends on your perception" Reasoned Wellington neutrally.

"I think I'm in love" confided Justin. "But I don't want to be." He added quickly.

"Because you view love as selfish?" countered Wellington.

"I…I don't know maybe" sighed Justin.

"If all love was viewed as selfish, you and I would not be here having this conversation. Love is only bad when it hurts people" Concluded Wellington.

"That's just it, All other love isn't selfish…Just mine" Argued Justin Looking down.

"Do you really believe your love is so much stronger then everyone else's, as to be selfish and bad?" Poked Wellington calmly

"It's just…

So many other people want this person so its scary being the one this person wants" Explained Justin weakly shrugging.

"You love this person?"

"Yes"

"And this person, even though wanted by others loves you?"

"I think so"

"Then what's the problem?

Love is the most powerful and wonderful of all emotions focus on it and the others will work themselves out I guarantee it" Advised Wellington.

"But what if I'm not good enough and someone better is out there, someone that really deserves to be with…this person?" objected Justin sadly.

"Justin you're a good guy, so good that this person has chosen you over all the others. At least try it's better to know what could be then to live with the regrets of what could have been."

It was then Wellington realized Justin wasn't paying attention.

"Justin?"

"Uh yes you're right" agreed Justin looking back at Dr. Wellington.

It was taped to the back of the aquarium where the doctor couldn't see and Justin quickly pulled it off on his way out.

_When our eyes meet across the room as if all time has stopped:_

_Especially when you can feel it in the way the air is thick around you. _

_So tight that you can't breathe and your blood feels alive in your veins. And you're never quite sure what to say, because the pounding of your heart is getting in the way._

_RH 3 JP_

Justin smiled to himself feeling reassured. Maybe being in love with an arrogant slut was just what he needed.

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Richard was reading.

Reading: confidential files stolen from Dr. Wellington's office.

Justin was afraid of moths.

Justin's grandmother had died when he was 12.

And he had never met his father.

Somehow this all seemed like it should be relative about Justin but it didn't feel important.

Notes such as these seemed obsolete and marginal at best.

Wait.

Here was something of interest.

_Justin has expressed a fear of physical intimacy at an unusual age most notably a lack of interest in women and internalized homophobia is strongly suspected. _

Now Richard was no Einstein but a fear of sex would explain a lot and that wasn't good. Not that he was just in it for sex but blue balls were becoming a state of Constance.

"So basically Justin hates himself for not liking girls" wondered Richard aloud.

"Well I can't have this" muttered Richard getting an idea.

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Justin sighed blissfully.

For whatever reason Richard had decided to give him a back massage.

A warm fire was burning and the night was young.

"You know what I can't stand?" asked Richard kneading Justin's shoulder blades firmly.

"Hmm?" asked Justin lazily.

"Moths: I absolutely hate them" Said Richard sitting behind Justin.

"Oh me too" agreed Justin eyes closed.

"Do you think I'm gross?" asked Richard stopping his massage.

"What?" asked Justin turning to face Richard

"Do you think I'm gross and do you hate me for loving you?" asked Richard seriously

Justin stared openly for a moment a Richard in surprise.

"Of course not" Assured Justin.

"Then why do you hate yourself for loving me?"

Justin began getting up from the bed, "I'm going home"

"No! Answer me Justin. Am I really that awful that you hate yourself for wanting me?" Richard held Justin in place by his arms.

"Richard let go!" screamed Justin struggling to get away suddenly panicked.

"Justin!" yelled Richard pushing him onto the bed.

Richard was on the bed and holding down a kicking and screaming Justin in two seconds flat.

"It's not that you're awful" cried Justin covering his face.

"It's that… I'm not enough" sobbed Justin.

"What?" asked a confused Richard

"We're both only children if we're together our parents will never have grandkids and then all the girls that love you will be let down and and…."

Breaks off sobbing incoherently.

"Fuck my parents I hate them and your mom will love you no matter what.

Screw those lonely hoes they'll find another guy to make miserable.

Our happiness counts too, and if we make each other happy then that's all we should be concerned with. You're so much more then enough" Consoled Richard brushing back Justin's hair.

"Richard?"

"Mmhm?"

"I love you…But I'm scared" Admitted Justin.

"I love you too Justin don't worry about it we'll be fine" Smiled Richard relaxing next to Justin.

"I'm sorry I'm a prude" Sighed Justin.

"And I'm sorry I'm a whore" Added Richard.

Laughs, "Yeah you are" Agreed Justin cheerfully.

"Goodnight Prude"

"Goodnight Hoe"

The fire burnt out as it began to rain around them.

XxX: A special thanks to Enigmus for all of your encouragement and support! The story lives on.  : XxX


	13. To lie and spy

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

TO LIE AND SPY

Sometimes you don't need to think when doing things, and it works out best if you just do them.

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"Not that loser!" yelled Richard in feigned disgust.

"You are not failing biology!" snapped Lawrence Haywood waving around Richard failing notice from school.

"Then let me have a hot chick tutor at least" offered Richard.

"NO! You need someone smart…Someone smart and boring so you might actually learn…" mused Lawrence thoughtfully.

"Anyone but Justin Pendleton, anyone, I hate him!" Richard could hardly keep the glee out of his voice; luckily his father misheard it as dread.

"I'm calling his mother and arranging for him to start tutoring you tomorrow." Bellowed Lawrence Haywood storming away to signal the conversation had ended with the slamming of the front door.

Richard was ecstatic he had really out done himself this time, flopping on the sofa he looked up at the ceiling smiling happily, life was good…

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"I'll ask him Mr. Haywood but don't expect the answer you're looking for" Warned Mrs. Pendleton holding the phone away from her ear.

"Justin honey can you come here for a moment" Something strange was going on here Katherine Pendleton could just feel it.

Watching Justin take the phone from her she watched as his face drew in confusion hearing Lawrence Haywood's offer and then surprisingly break into a relieved grin.

"Of course sir, I would love to help out a classmate, no no problem at all. Oh that's a generous offer but you don't have to…uh huh alright that sounds great, I'll be over tomorrow."

Hanging up the phone Katherine Pendleton couldn't help but stare at her son in stunned silence.

Had he really just offered to tutor his tormentor free of charge, and was he smiling about it?

Katherine Pendleton just didn't understand.

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He wondered he couldn't help it: the thought overwhelmed him.

Sitting so near her, watching her laugh and talk about the dance made it even more real.

"So I'm thinking of going with the strapless red dress since Richard loves red…."

"Justin? Justin? Are you paying attention?"

"Oh I'm sorry" blushed Justin feeling self conscious.

"I was asking if our science report is due before or after our school's dance." Asked Lisa staring intently at Justin

Looking closely at his own shoes Justin replied "after"

Hoping she couldn't somehow read his mind and know he was wondering jealously how many times Richard had been in between her legs…

"Lucky bitch" the words fell out.

"What was that Justin?"

"Oh nothing…I said 'without a hitch' as in we should get our project done without a hitch: Sorry I was thinking out loud" Lied Justin suddenly feeling better.

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"I'm suppose to tutor you" reminded Justin with haste.

Richard was busy quickly shutting and locking his bedroom door behind Justin to protest.

Knocking the books out of Justin's hands Richard flung him effortlessly onto his bed.

"Richard"

"What like you've never dreamt of doing it in your own bed?"

"This is different this is your parent's house…"

"Hmm… You're right it is. I guess it would make more sense to do it at _our_ place" Agreed Richard.

"Well I was thinking we could start on Mitochondria"

"Mito-what?"

"The power house of the cell, if you'll turn to chapter twelve"

"Hey wait a minute; we've got to negotiate here."

"Negotiate?"

"Yes I'll waste my Justin time learning boring shit if you'll reward me with something not so boring…" hinted Richard suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

Failing to conceal his excitement Justin agreed.

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"How long have they been up there?" Asked an astonished Lawrence Haywood gesturing to the stairs

"Almost two hours" confirmed Rita Haywood blowing her nails dry.

"Are you sure?" persisted Lawrence doubtfully.

He just knew after the first five minutes that weird Pendleton kid would storm out demanding money for his time and efforts, maybe just leave all together.

"Oh sure I've been down here with cash in hand for that freaky kid while watching my stories." Said Rita eyes glued to her soap opera.

"Two hours, well hell that boy needs all the help he can get" Thought Lawrence Haywood.

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"Help" gasp Justin

"I should help tutor people more often if this is my reward" panted Justin, running his hands through Richard's hair as he watched him work the magic of his mouth.

Though he couldn't see it Justin could feel Richard smiling beneath him and that's part of what took his breath away…

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"So I'm thinking you should leave by window since both my parents are home" Said Richard as he walked across the room.

"How am I suppose to do that" Wondered Justin "You don't have a tree by your window like I do."

"Well no, but I do have a balcony and a rope ladder" Explained Richard gesturing toward the window.

"A- rope- ladder…?" Repeated Justin slowly

"Yeah like the kind boy scouts use or fire preparedness' kits have.

Okay obviously mine came from a fire kit, like it's that hard to think of me as a boy scout." Laughed Richard at the bemused face Justin was showing.

"If being a boy scout meant surviving the mall and figuring out what to do with excess money you'd be a pro" Smirked Justin at Richard scoff.

Justin almost didn't care how ridiculous he looked climbing down Richard's rope ladder; he was too busy savoring their last kiss.

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Like birds before a storm Richard could feel it.

Standing in his room mere moments after Justin's departure he was trying to figure out his next move.

Would it be easier to go down stairs now and tell his father some lie about his tutor leaving or to wait until later… ?

Chances were that Lawrence Haywood was going to get smashed as usual and then be looking for any excuse to come after his son with.

Richard knew this all too well.

If he told his dad now, "Oh my tutor left early" or "My tutor had to stay extra late that's why you didn't see him leave" it would likely stay stuck in Lawrence's mind, simmering and brewing around until he got drunk and exploded all on Richard.

He could stay in his room and not tell his father anything and just wait for whatever horrible conclusions his dad would make to justify his later anger…

So the great debate now was: To wait and hope for the best or risk making it worse and getting it over with.

"Hm"

There had to be a word for this sort of thing a definition even: for when things are going great only to end horribly, but of course Richard didn't know it.

"So much for a tutor"

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The dinner was cold.

Sitting out on the kitchen table, and the house was silent.

Walking into the living room Justin paused to listen, his mom's car was in the drive but the house seemed empty.

"Mom"

Justin paused for a response.

"You should have called me, I waited and waited." Snapped Katharine Pendleton angrily

"I just got really busy, tutoring isn't easy" Defended Justin.

"Oh is that what you were doing?"

Her sarcasm stopped his heart.

"Or were you screwing around?"

With great self control and effort Justin remained calm, looking his mother in the eye he did his best to say:

"What?"

"I talked to someone at your doctor's office the other day, a person who believes you're with someone you shouldn't be and that's why you're changing.

I can only assume that means a married woman."

Justin's heart came back to life only now it was beating too fast.

"I'm not with a married woman mom"

"Then what, you're not acting like yourself Justin? You're coming and going at odd hours, your grades are slipping. When was the last time you asked me to play chess or even read a biography?

I'm worried about you."

"Mom relax nothing's going on, I'm just trying to find new hobbies that's all" Lied Justin backing away toward his bedroom.

"Fine don't tell me, but I know someone from Wellington's office and I'm going to find out" Threatened Katharine Pendleton watching her withdrawn son close himself up in his room with his secrets.

**JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ**

Night time what a great time to escape.

Richard didn't want to chance it as soon as Justin left he went down stairs to tell his parent's he felt sick and was going to bed for the night. Carefully locking his bedroom door behind him he headed for his one safe place.

**JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ**

Justin was in shock.

A married woman?

An office mole?

His mother's resentment?

Had all of this been building along the way of his relationship?

How had he not seen any of this coming?

Too many questions and not one answer, left Justin pacing back and forth in his room.

He needed more space, he needed to get away the walls that were vibrating with his mothers rage.

Grabbing his coat he felt like it was time to go home.

**JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ**

Pulling into the embankment Justin is more then glad to see Richard's car already there.

Richard sits by the fire looking out into the ocean.

"You want to get out of here?" Asked Justin standing by the door

"Only if we return for the night" agreed Richard.

So they went driving, outside of town.

Because as strange and new as their relationship was they both knew better than to be seen together in town.

People would start talking, asking questions, Questions they didn't want to hear or have to make up answers for.

Along the ride they told each other stories, memories of their past.

A few stories Justin exaggerated to keep Richard interested while some of Richard's own stories he down played not wanting to make Justin feel uncomfortable.

It was a nice middle ground for them to stand on: halfway between the truth and a lie, where they both felt equal to the other.

And it helped.

It helped relieve the stresses that plagued them, the fears, doubts and pain became a little more bearable with each passing mile.

The stars shined a little brighter as they headed home feeling reborn and loved.

Never was an old, abandoned beach house more appreciated.


	14. Talking and Listening

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

TALKING AND LISTENING

**MONTHS EARLIER**

"And you're sure this is confidential?" He asked looking away.

"Strictly confidential" She assured leaning forward intently.

The memory was sharp and clear in his mind; Justin wandered if he had made the right decision.

He had never been one to carry secrets simply because there never seemed to be any secrets for him to hold.

But now was different everything had changed, including him in the process.

Justin knew he was being selfish, he knew this was wrong but he couldn't think of any other way to lighten his mental load.

So that day after school when Mrs. Greer had so insistently poked and prodded him to vent out his problems he took her invitation only telling her of his conflicting emotions leaving out all the Richard parts…

**JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ**

**PRESENTLY**

"My Step father and mother divorced a couple years back and that's when I started going to Doctor Wellington's."

"Why'd you keep going for so long after?"

"Hmm companionship I suppose"

"But now you're trying not to go so much because he isn't very receptive?"

Asked a concerned Mrs. Greer carefully watching Justin stand by his desk,

Class had let out ten minutes before and like on most other days Justin was here venting out indirect scenarios to his teacher about the confusion in his head.

Justin wasn't stupid, he knew better then to let her know anything subtenant, nothing real. But with his mothers growing suspicions and his newly acquired distrust of Wellington's office Justin needed someone to talk things out with.

"So you never knew your biological father?"

"No and he never knew me.

Pendleton is my mother's maiden name.

I'm glad I got that instead of Randy's last name."

"Randy being your step father"?

"Yeah Randy Glasscock…blah"

Justin's face made Mrs. Greer laugh, getting serious again she went on,

"So you're not comfortable talking to Wellington about transforming your persona?"

"Yeah he doesn't see a reason for any change in me."

"Well maybe because you're a smart responsible young man with exceptional talents and he thinks you striving for a change in any direction is a turn for the worst, perhaps he sees this as just a rebellious phase for you."

"I'm still smart and responsible…"

"But you're grades are slipping" she was quick to point out.

"Only because now I'm realizing what makes me happy, some aspects bound to suffer while another develops" Reasoned Justin.

"Well as long as they all balance out in the end and one doesn't consume another is what counts" Concluded Mrs. Greer.

**JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ**

"Richard are you here to work out some more of the dance arrangements?" Asked Abby looking up from her corner desk in the guidance office

"Yeah actually I am"

"Thanks again on your fathers generous donation to the dance committee" she beamed as they both took a seat in her corner of the room.

"Well I'm just glad the dance committee could use the money to liven up the party. I wasn't sure everyone would be on board with the route I wanted to take."

"I will admit your ideas are unique for this dance but we're a progressive school and seemed like an idea we can have fun with. Is that why you're here did you want to make changes in the original plan?"

"Just slightly, It will make the night more memorable for everyone…"

**JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ**

"He was buying a ring Mrs. Pendleton and not a cheap one either.

I know the look of love when I see it and Justin's completely blind to everything else."

"I've noticed it too Alice. I don't see what the big deal is. Why doesn't he just admit it and introduce her to everyone already?"

"Doctor Wellington is most sure that whoever Justin is in love with is someone he knows he shouldn't be with and that's why he is steering clear of any introductions: To prevent conflict."

"In love with someone he shouldn't be with…" Mrs. Pendleton was sure of it, though her son denied it, she knew better.

**JRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ**

"So Richard what have you been up to this week?" Began Wellington expectantly

"About 6 foot 1" last time I checked but it's been a while since I last measured myself"

Grinned Richard finding things more amusing then usual, Richard was in a good mood for a change.

It felt as if everything was falling into place all his ducks in a row and all that jazz kind of week.

"Care to share?" inquired Wellington.

"I've been working on a school activity this week for the upcoming spring fling.

And it is going to be freaking awesome there's just one final part to my plan and it's going to take off."

"Ah, making and following a plan to achieve your goal is a great improvement to your usual reckless behavior."

"Yeah well this is reckless alright, but reckless and planned taking it to new heights" Smiled Richard oblivious to the Doctors discomfort.


End file.
